I hate your face
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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