remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
