I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
