I'm lost and stupid without you.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
