i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
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