I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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