shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Randomize
