I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
