so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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