she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize