I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
