anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
