Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
