He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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