I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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