kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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