u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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