walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
