Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
