Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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