Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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