I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize