I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
