I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
God, I missed his penis.
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