chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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