smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
it's like heaven, but drunker
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
