I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
