Kareoke will never be a sober sport
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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