I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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