I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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