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I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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