If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
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