He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
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