Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
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