listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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