Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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