she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
