I think scott just propositioned me for sex
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
