Where is the hickey?
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Someone signed my nipple.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
