Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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