I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize