Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
false alarm. still invincible.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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