is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
