i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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