Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
