put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
