Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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