They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
