I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
