No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Verdict: uncircumcised.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
