In the future we'll all be gay
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize
