She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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