just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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