He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
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