Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
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