I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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