can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
